Day 9

So I’ve been eating papaya and rice water, with flower and raisin water for snacks for 9 days now and my hormones must be both surprised and happy because I am not hungry. Not even mentally which is unusual because my favorite activity is planning what to cook, where to buy it and keeping up with the foodie scene.  Also nice to have released 13 pounds of who knows what, and to be sleeping well. The down side is that the yoga is not very amenable to this amount of nourishment. I barely make it to Parsvottanasana, am too dizzy to balance the next two, endure Utkatasana, and my arms are like 30 lb. dumbells each on both Virabhadransanas. Long story short, Purvattanasana has been my last pose before closing since last Friday, when I thought that I could do led no problem and had to lay down for a nap. Checked with the good doctor’s assistant while he is up in the Himalayas till mid September, and she firmly said no asana the first two weeks, only pranayama! Okay, you could have wrote that down for me madam when you sent me my pdf protocol..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

D Day

That’s tomorrow 8/15/16. I am embarking on a 45 day protocol prescribed by Dr. Sumit  Kesarkar which will help reset my metabolic intelligence at the cellular level. You do it once and that’s it. check out the Marmayog youtube channel if you’re curious. Also I can only  answer questions about what’s going on with me as I do this because I only took a two day workshop and I am having a hard time deciphering my notes from 2 months ago.So google the good Dr. for better answers. I get the feeling that he is not a fan of Ashtanga yoga, but we can work around that. My friend D who is trained in Ayurveda gave me a good tip for perspective: She said look at this protocol as a gift that you have been fortunate to receive, instead of as a challenge that you must overcome. I took that to heart because it switched on a lightbulb.

Fashion is overvalued

At least for those of us who love to both eat, sweat, and  look decent but comfortable. By decent I don’t mean just being covered, I mean feeling confident and happy with what you’re wearing. I’ve been watching everyone around me switch from the basic black legging to the wild print legging until it was just me and the guys in solid colored bottoms. My pal Jen Calderon clued me in as to where to find some prints to experiment with which would not be $100 (you cannot walk around after practice in wild floral or tie die like you do in basic black, sorry so no) at Victoria’s secret. Those work. I got carried away and saw some Adiddas patterned ones at Costco for a song and threw them into the cart. They are maybe good for running or weight lifting? Because those thing grab you so tight in the knees and upper legs that good luck with Padmasana and all the seated poses. The last thing you need during practice is to do battle with your clothes.Teacher said cute pants and I answered thanks but they’re not coming back.

Embodied

I have difficulty internalizing this word. Some words tend to stay  stuck as abstractions in my head and this one is one of them. It could be a second language thing or another kind of blockage thing, but this article has done me a solid.

I post it here because I realize some of you are not on Facebook where it is making the rounds. Don’t let that or the length of the article get in the way.

http://spaciousyoga.com/becoming-animal/

Short Realizations

I don’t remember if I mentioned that I banged my right leg pretty hard when I fell on some rocks earlier this month. Walking and sitting is uncomfortable and I pay dearly for lunges or forward bends. So my practice has been abbreviated to mostly what some people call yin yoga and I call pulling my butt to the wall and letting my legs hang out against it.  You would think that I abandoned my family or have been shoplifting all my groceries if you could measure the amount of worry and guilt I feel for waiting to practice until walking and sitting feel normal. I worry about eating and drinking the same way as if I was practicing with effort for 90 minutes. I worry that when I get back to full practice I will be panting and heaving. I worry about binding, and all the other things that are asana but not yoga. SO this is my realization: any behavior, be it asana, or overeating, if you use it to alleviate anxiety without healing its source, can become addictive. Any activity that is used as a substitute for connection or for the feeling of being present, separates us from feeling fine about being alive without penalty or paying a price.

July so Far

Let’s see: I am surrounded by the beauty of nature while horrified by what the ugliness of human nature is capable of. I scraped a bunch of skin off my right leg when I stumbled on some rocks and have a black and blue right butt to go with it. Restful sleep seldom possible and practice not at all. This morning I get a call from and old girlfriend’s ex husband telling me she drank herself to death somewhere in Florida and writing about it here is about the only thing I can do with what he just told me. It’s only 7:00 am it looks like I’ll be staring at whatever happens to pass by my windows for the rest of the day.

Update: shit. And I just saw that a brave and sweet yogi left her body today. Peaceful journey dear Susan.